Busy day for a troll like me...

duffader wrote:

It seems that i have something against people from the "home affairs"... but i like!

U TOO!

oh boy. time to work. again.

mission accomplished.

I am abit the slow. But I only just realised he updated his blog about 3 months ago.

http://rockson.blogspot.sg/

I likey..

mUAr_cHEe wrote:

I am abit the slow. But I only just realised he updated his blog about 3 months ago.

http://rockson.blogspot.sg/

I likey..

His countless expletives makes it difficult to read.

But at least his spelling and punctuation is better than most people here!

mUAr_cHEe wrote:

But at least his spelling and punctuation is better than most people here!

That's debatable.

Who is this guy anyway?

As mysterious as Bangla123. No one knows.

I'm beginning to suspect that b123 is you.

And, this rockson chappy is just someone who is annoyed with the universe.

As I said before. Different class. We can not be the same person.

Classic One that I used to hear a long time ago...

This guy wins Toto and decides to buy the nicest car he could find. He buys a Lamborghini Reventón Roadster. It went 330 km/h, had a V-12 engine, and went from 0-100 in 3 seconds. He thought nobody would be able to pass him. He decided to show his car off around Orchard since he was the only one in Singapore who has it. He approaches a traffic light and at that red light came an old guy on a scooter. The old guy says, "Nice car you have there can I take a look inside." The man says, "Sure look around all you want." When the old guy came out he said the car was all right. The guy who owned the Lamborghini was pissed. His car was more than all right. So he decides to show the old man what his car could do.

When the light turned green the man accelerated to 100 km/h. just as the guy thought he had lost the old man he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE SCOOTER. The scooter shoots past the Lamborghini. The guy in the Lamborghini was like "no way."

He then sped up to 200 km/h and dusted the scooter. But just as the guy in the Lamborghini thought he had proven his point, he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE SCOOTER and it zoom passed him again. The guy in the Lamborghini was getting mad, how could a scooter do this.

The guy then said, "that’s it" and floored it. He blazed past the old man going at 300 km/h. The guy in the Lamborghini said " there’s no way he can pass me now. But just as he said that he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE SCOOTER AGAIN. There was nothing the guy in the Lamborghini could do. He was going as fast as he could. But this time the guy on the moped didn't pass him; it hit the back of his car. The guy in the Lamborghini stopped immediately and ran to the old man. Amazingly the old man was still alive. The guy asked the old man if there was anything he could do.

The old man replied, " Unhook my suspenders off of your rear view mirror, son."

hhaha... i actually laughed out loud.. omg... this should be voted corniest joke of the day...thanks MC....

time to work liaos...

Lol! Doesn't make sense but still a good laugh...

watermyforrest wrote:

Lol! Doesn't make sense but still a good laugh...

Makes sense. Read it again but this time, don't focus on the other thing you're busy doing.

Technospaz wrote:

watermyforrest wrote:

Lol! Doesn't make sense but still a good laugh...

Makes sense. Read it again but this time, don't focus on the other thing you're busy doing.

Ok, i put down the 3 knives that I've been juggling with my left hand for the past 15 minutes, went down from the tight rope and decided to seat on the sofa instead of my mono-cycle that I was riding on the rope.

Still corny and not making much sense... But that's our MC...

watermyforrest wrote:

Technospaz wrote:

watermyforrest wrote:

Lol! Doesn't make sense but still a good laugh...

Makes sense. Read it again but this time, don't focus on the other thing you're busy doing.

Ok, i put down the 3 knives that I've been juggling with my left hand for the past 15 minutes, went down from the tight rope and decided to seat on the sofa instead of my mono-cycle that I was riding on the rope.

Still corny and not making much sense... But that's our MC...

Awww... and the circus ends!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnn!!! Check this out!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXT3ptXM6F0

Have a great day!

wah lau. Heavy Handed Mods don't embrace my racial harmony jokes! Fine! Politically-corrected joke as follows;

Q: How do you paint double yellow lines along the road?
A: Get two yellow-skinned guys to lie side-by-side on the road and bulldoze them.

Q: How do a really dark-skinned guy sun tan?
A: *face palms towards the sky*

Q: Why is the-guy-who-relaxes-in-one-corner so stressed in the Oval Office?
A: Because there is no corners.

hahahah.. makes me wonder what to expect tomorrow!!

2 idiots was driving along a busy street. The driving idiot was busy texting to his girl friend while driving. In no time, the driving idiot collided with the car in front of him. Unfortunately for the driving idiot, the driver of the front car is a notorious road bully. He immediately came out of his car fuming mad and dragged the driving idiot out of the car. At this point, his friend, the passenger idiot who was a little quicker, got out of the car and dove into the bushes at the road side and hid from the bully. The bully berated and demanded compensation from the driving idiot. But alas, overwhelmed by the shock of the accident and the non-stop verbal abuse from the road bully, the driving idiot could do nothing and revert back to his natural instinct; freeze and do nothing.

After some time, the road bully knew that he was not able to squeeze anything out of the driving idiot, he dragged the idiot aside, took out a piece of chalk, drew a circle on the ground and got him to stand inside, "Now you listen here. Since you are obviously an idiot and cannot do anything to settle this matter; I will do society a favour and destroy this poor excuse of a car so that you, this poor excuse of a driver will not do society any further harm. You are NOT to step out of the circle until I am done with you and your car. If I ever see you so much of stepping out of this circle or any part of your body out of the circle, I will hit you twice as much as I am going to do to your car."

With this, the road bully went back to his car, took out a long metal rod and starts pummeling the car. Just as the bully was getting a kick out of destroying the car, he thought he heard snickering from the idiot, but he turned around and saw nothing out of place. The idiot is in his circle with that terrified look on his face still. He went back to bashing the car. Just as he starts to feel his arms a little sore, he heard some giggling this time. He turn around and see the idiot still standing in the circle but whistling this time while looking at the sky. He went up to the idiot, grabbed him by the collar, "Punk. You think this is funny, don't you." The idiot immediately teared and said, "No Sir, Its not funny."

The bully let go and went back to destroying the car. As you can imagine, the same scenario happened a couple of times. In the midst of it all, the windscreen, and windows are smashed, tires are punctured, lights are taken out; basically, the whole car is totaled. Just as the bully was about to give up, he could have sworn he heard muffled laughter, he turned around and saw the idiot twiddling his thumbs!! Out of breath, tired and frustrated, the bully concluded that talking and bully the idiot some more is just a further waste of time and breath. Glad that he managed to bully someone today, he just got into his car, drove off and cursing.

When the coast is clear, the passenger idiot came out of the bushes and rush to his friend to check if he is ok.

Passenger Idiot: "Bro, you ok or not?"

Driver Idiot: "Oh. I am great!"

Passenger Idiot: "But your car, its gone!"

Driver Idiot: "Yes but it is ok. I have proven that I am not an idiot today."

Passenger Idiot: "Huh? How?"

Driver Idiot: "I outsmarted that bully today!"

Passenger Idiot: "Wow!" *pause* "Huh? How? I could not really see what is going on as the bushes were too thick and I cannot see the whole scene clearly."

Driver Idiot: "Everything the bully turn around to smash my car first, I stuck my hand of the circle, then later my leg, then my whole body, then I did jumping jacks, then I did gangnam style dance."

Passenger Idiot: "Wah. I wish I was as smart as you."





(-_-|||)

a young female executive was trying to park her car in a public car park....

when she found the lot, she saw an ah pek sitting in that lot....

she stopped n alight from her car to talk to the ah pek...

seeing this ah pek with a hearing aid, she decided that hokkien would be a better form of communication....



female executive: (loudly) ah pek, zi tao wu lan par bor???

ah pek then get off his chair n slapped the female executive....

ah pek: ah pek tia tio wu LAM-PAR lah!!!

This thread should be in Jokes & Humour section...

no. my thread. i deem it where i want it to be.


BTW... got to add... some of my lumber fai posts... really feel like slapping him...

mUAr_cHEe wrote:

no. my thread. i deem it where i want it to be.


BTW... got to add... some of my lumber fai posts... really feel like slapping him...

I think that's what he likes.

 
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
 
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
 
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
 
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
 
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
 
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent house and meets his girl friend at the door.
 
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!
 
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
 
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
 
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
 
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girl friend leans over and whispers to the boy friend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
 
The boy turns, and whispers back,
 
'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!'