How to reply a fellow GRian that won't sound arrogant and mislead others.

darenlim wrote:

you give me any driver even ladies driver I can hit 250m minimum.
Dont play play

but if u use Nxxxxxxxxx driver u will gain another 30m or more rite!!!!

taskie wrote:

Some of my thoughts on the question. During written communication, it is common to sound more negatively.

In my opinion,
1. Don't use all capital letter... it will sound angry...
2. Use the word: I think, in my opinion, what works for me, my 5 cents worth...
3. Get to know the real person will tone down a lot of negative impression...
4. Don't praise yourself but let others do it for you

Some don't mean to be arrogant but due to lack of written skills will sound like one.
However, if one is really arrogant.. then what to do..

I can add in :
- Use smiley, it will tone down your message too. Of course u use friendly smiley.
- Always think of what others are thinking, and the result/implication of your posts too.
- Lastly, use common sense.....

My 2c.

for me, I always back my tips with this statement


I am just a seasoned beginner....

duffader wrote:

Morning People, sorry if my query have raise any arguments or displeasure. I am just one of the beginners who hope to learn something from forum. Like many other forums, we tend to learn a few things here and there from people who really know their stuff. I only ponder about certain postings i see on this forum and make me wonder, are they really serious what they are saying or are they just joking? Very hard to interpret base on words... maybe its because of my weak command of english.

Actually, quite hard to say, really - some people have a breakthrough through a swing tweak (that may or may not work for everyone, but worked well for him) and share that tip. The fact that his/her swing change is positively reinforced by actual results (short/medium-term or otherwise) is something worth sharing, at least to that person.

I guess it's not right nor wrong for any golf opinion, since golf is just a game about getting the ball into the hole. For me, my game started improving when I stopped mucking about with equipment and invested in lessons to fix my ultra-koyak swing. Others may choose to tweak their equipment instead of their swing, which isn't wrong either.

Then moving on to the topic of equipment tweaking, some people don't mind trial and error - buy one shaft, fit, try. If it doesn't work, sell the shaft, buy another shaft, try. Repeat until some measure of success is found. Again, that's not wrong, but as someone who has gone down that path and paid dearly, it just so happens that the one thing I brushed off as one giant fraud - custom fitting - turned out to be the one thing that helped my game. And no, my first exposure to custom fitting wasn't even at BFG, despite my affinity to their work - rather, it was at my local Golf House, where the fitter took one look at my setup and had my clubs bent upright, and to my surprise, my shots were fading less, going straighter. A later switch over from S300 shafts (which all this while, I thought was perfectly fine for me) to PX5.0 found me more distance and accuracy with less effort. That paradigm pretty much f***ed around my head as it was counter-intuitive (hit harder, ball goes further, right? turns out I was plenty wrong about that too )

Anyway, to cut a long story short, IMO, where golf tips are concerned, I seriously doubt if there is a right or wrong about it. If you tend to slice, some people will tell you aim far left, let the ball come back in. Others will tell you to aim right, thereby closing your body to the target line, which technically negates a slice into a draw. Yet others will tell you that since you are only slicing on your driver, it may be the shaft, while others offer advice along the lines of how to avoid coming over the top or casting. In all of these suggestions, there is no right answer, since all of them have a level of validity to them.

Ultimately, it's just golf. Go out, enjoy the weather, enjoy the game.

change driver shaft to regular (~240cpm), cut down to 44.5 inch, get a mid/high kick shaft and a 9.5 loft head (square/closed face), tee the ball higher, shift the ball position to forwards, stand in a slightly closed stance, 60% weight on right foot, forget the one place swing, hands behind the ball, grip 60% power, baseball grip and let it rip......guarantee 250m...........

pheeew 4 pages and no unsolicited guarantee-to-improve-your-golf-promise-its-the-last-tip-you-will-ever-need-if-is-only-one-tip-you-need-to-remember-money-back-guarantee-it-works-for-me-so-it-will-work-for-you 'tip', i was getting nervous so i decided to post my 'secret to my 250m drive' tip





disclaimer: tip may not work for everybody, including myself......the original author of the tip has yet to drive pass 220m and averaging 150m (including 50m drives and occasional 20m pop ups, including a few ball marks 1 foot away from the tee)

seriously though i receive a tip during the Nike demo from one of the coaches...did not think much of it cause i didnt expect him to teach me anything good from watching me swing 4-5 times but tried it last night at the range (after a few horrible games) and it works!!!!. Now to see if the tip can be sustained till the next game.

ghoonk wrote:

duffader wrote:

Morning People, sorry if my query have raise any arguments or displeasure. I am just one of the beginners who hope to learn something from forum. Like many other forums, we tend to learn a few things here and there from people who really know their stuff. I only ponder about certain postings i see on this forum and make me wonder, are they really serious what they are saying or are they just joking? Very hard to interpret base on words... maybe its because of my weak command of english.

Actually, quite hard to say, really - some people have a breakthrough through a swing tweak (that may or may not work for everyone, but worked well for him) and share that tip. The fact that his/her swing change is positively reinforced by actual results (short/medium-term or otherwise) is something worth sharing, at least to that person.

I guess it's not right nor wrong for any golf opinion, since golf is just a game about getting the ball into the hole. For me, my game started improving when I stopped mucking about with equipment and invested in lessons to fix my ultra-koyak swing. Others may choose to tweak their equipment instead of their swing, which isn't wrong either.

Then moving on to the topic of equipment tweaking, some people don't mind trial and error - buy one shaft, fit, try. If it doesn't work, sell the shaft, buy another shaft, try. Repeat until some measure of success is found. Again, that's not wrong, but as someone who has gone down that path and paid dearly, it just so happens that the one thing I brushed off as one giant fraud - custom fitting - turned out to be the one thing that helped my game. And no, my first exposure to custom fitting wasn't even at BFG, despite my affinity to their work - rather, it was at my local Golf House, where the fitter took one look at my setup and had my clubs bent upright, and to my surprise, my shots were fading less, going straighter. A later switch over from S300 shafts (which all this while, I thought was perfectly fine for me) to PX5.0 found me more distance and accuracy with less effort. That paradigm pretty much f***ed around my head as it was counter-intuitive (hit harder, ball goes further, right? turns out I was plenty wrong about that too )

Anyway, to cut a long story short, IMO, where golf tips are concerned, I seriously doubt if there is a right or wrong about it. If you tend to slice, some people will tell you aim far left, let the ball come back in. Others will tell you to aim right, thereby closing your body to the target line, which technically negates a slice into a draw. Yet others will tell you that since you are only slicing on your driver, it may be the shaft, while others offer advice along the lines of how to avoid coming over the top or casting. In all of these suggestions, there is no right answer, since all of them have a level of validity to them.

Ultimately, it's just golf. Go out, enjoy the weather, enjoy the game.

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

True, and improvement comes in so many forms - so many tips and tricks. Some will tell you to get more sleep the night before a round, others will tell you that a beer before the round will help, some say to draw a line on the ball, others say putt instinctively, some say to pitch well, ball must be in line with back foot, others say ball forward is better...

in the end, to each his own, we all share what works for us, but ultimately it is the recipient of that nugget of info who decides if it works for him/her or not, right?

Someone once said, if your intention is from the heart, people can see clearly whether it is a good or bad intention Some people tend to listen to people who sound arrogant, others prefer a more consultative tone of voice. in the end, it is just about distilling the tone from the content of the message and getting on with it, don't you agree?

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

duffader wrote:

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

serious question...how to ask? next month playing with 3 guys way better than me, already preparing the money to give away...maybe can minimize my loss

ghoonk wrote:

True, and improvement comes in so many forms - so many tips and tricks. Some will tell you to get more sleep the night before a round, others will tell you that a beer before the round will help, some say to draw a line on the ball, others say putt instinctively, some say to pitch well, ball must be in line with back foot, others say ball forward is better...

in the end, to each his own, we all share what works for us, but ultimately it is the recipient of that nugget of info who decides if it works for him/her or not, right?

Someone once said, if your intention is from the heart, people can see clearly whether it is a good or bad intention Some people tend to listen to people who sound arrogant, others prefer a more consultative tone of voice. in the end, it is just about distilling the tone from the content of the message and getting on with it, don't you agree?

some say eating mcdonalds before a round of golf helps them score the best round of their life

duffader wrote:

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

really yah, funny cos i know this guy which i offer to give strokes, but he sebei howlian, dun want any, insist play level

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

really yah, funny cos i know this guy which i offer to give strokes, but he sebei howlian, dun want any, insist play level

Can I play too?

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

really yah, funny cos i know this guy which i offer to give strokes, but he sebei howlian, dun want any, insist play level

All i can say is, he doesn't know the art. I pity him..... But i guess from the way you express yourself, you should be a very strong player.

tronos wrote:

duffader wrote:

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

serious question...how to ask? next month playing with 3 guys way better than me, already preparing the money to give away...maybe can minimize my loss

Why bet if you are preparing to lose money???

duffader wrote:

tronos wrote:

duffader wrote:

slinger wrote:

duffader wrote:

Yeap... I guess if you just want to enjoy the weather and the game.... then its fine.. but i think some might want to improve.. thats why they seek help.

only seek help meh, tot they also want to win $$$ too...

You don't need to play good golf to win money... you need to know the art of asking for strokes.....

serious question...how to ask? next month playing with 3 guys way better than me, already preparing the money to give away...maybe can minimize my loss

Why bet if you are preparing to lose money???

free golf game (company) but the other guys sure bet one. They already bet very small but x3 its a still a decent $$. is there any betting etiquette that i only bet with 1 person in a flight or must bet with all 3?

just found out we are playing sixes so not so bad. Now how to ask for stokes in Sixes?

[quote="eiji
some say eating mcdonalds before a round of golf helps them score the best round of their life [/quote]

This one, I really want to try out. Unfortunately, last weekend I was running late... tapau Big Breakfast also got no time.

This wkend, I'll try to eat Big Breakfast... see whether can break 70 or not

Sometime I think those golf fixes on some magazine are also crap so I think we have to expect some crap in this forum too. Anyway not all are pro and pro also talk crap sometimes

Go for a pro for a proper fix, if you are looking in GR for a solution, you maybe asking for crap

I have been eating breakfast at the Mc Donalds near Palm Villa for a few times before playing there at PV. No difference leh...... Maybe I haven't know that eating McD will help me to lower scores. Must keep that in mind when I eat there next Mon keke..........

Arrogance is perceived especially since you can not see the person's body language.

Why you perceived arrogance only you will know..maybe you are the one that is arrogant?

Maybe you think that you know better than others, without considering that there are teaching pros in this forum and they said nothing, there are 2000+ members surely there would be more than a handful of scratch players and they said nothing.

This is a public forum, and forum by its nature is open for discussion.
If you have a choice of hank haney or tiger woods to give you a tip on your swing, who will be the better choice? The best player or the qualified coach?

If you want the right answer, then every swing question would have to be answered by a certified golf coach and every equipment question answered by a manufacturer or a clubfitter.

Members in this forum are clever enough to know that when they engage in the forum, it is to learn and share what works for others and for themselves. It is an opportunity to learn something that could work not 100% will work.

As for misleading others......important to know if it is intentional or not.
If I share something that I think is true then intentions are clear.

If I lie about who I am, my playing ability and my reason for being on this forum then motives are also clear.

Like someone mentioned, to INTENTIONALLY mislead is far more intolerable than PERCEIVED arrogance.

There is no need for anti-social behavior on this forum, on any forum or in real life.
Members join to share the joy of golf, not to say that they are sorry for posting their experiences because you think that they are not qualified.

May you find inner peace and move on!

william wrote:

Arrogance is perceived especially since you can not see the person's body language.

Why you perceived arrogance only you will know..maybe you are the one that is arrogant?

Maybe you think that you know better than others, without considering that there are teaching pros in this forum and they said nothing, there are 2000+ members surely there would be more than a handful of scratch players and they said nothing.

This is a public forum, and forum by its nature is open for discussion.
If you have a choice of hank haney or tiger woods to give you a tip on your swing, who will be the better choice? The best player or the qualified coach?

If you want the right answer, then every swing question would have to be answered by a certified golf coach and every equipment question answered by a manufacturer or a clubfitter.

Members in this forum are clever enough to know that when they engage in the forum, it is to learn and share what works for others and for themselves. It is an opportunity to learn something that could work not 100% will work.

As for misleading others......important to know if it is intentional or not.
If I share something that I think is true then intentions are clear.

If I lie about who I am, my playing ability and my reason for being on this forum then motives are also clear.

Like someone mentioned, to INTENTIONALLY mislead is far more intolerable than PERCEIVED arrogance.

There is no need for anti-social behavior on this forum, on any forum or in real life.
Members join to share the joy of golf, not to say that they are sorry for posting their experiences because you think that they are not qualified.

May you find inner peace and move on!

Wow.... thanks for the long reply. great first post for a forummer who have just join today.

[quote]

Quote :

jimmychoo wrote:

Sometime I think those golf fixes on some magazine are also crap so I think we have to expect some crap in this forum too.

Aiyoh broJC, now then tell.....I am the golfer today based solely on the magazines,,,,, so now I know why I am only like that...espeically speciality 4K shot



all in all, sources are everywhere....using them rightly is the key

laybeedlang wrote:

I have been eating breakfast at the Mc Donalds near Palm Villa for a few times before playing there at PV. No difference leh...... Maybe I haven't know that eating McD will help me to lower scores. Must keep that in mind when I eat there next Mon keke..........

the advert didn't show Ryo munching on the breakfast at all... Instead it showed him standing there starring at the camera with his pouty lips... Maybe you should stand and stare at the McD counter girls ... Do try make your lips pouty and look as cool as possible.

Guys, what is the point of this topic again?

We are all 'seasoned beginners' as someone once said, and so true that none of us here are professional qualified to give instruction.

What is true, however is that as a SOCIAL forum with a common interest in GOLF, we take the time to share our own personal experiences, tips, tricks, what worked for us, what didn't work for us. At the end of the day, it is us to the reader to try it out and decide for him/herself if the tip works or not - what works for some of us may not work for others.

But if we all stop sharing, stop trying new things, stop learning, then there's no point in joining a forum, right?

Now, coming back to the topic of whether one would come across as arrogant is highly subjective -- some people have told me to my face that I am an arrogant person. I ask them why they think so, and this is what I usually hear:

1. you seem to have an answer for everything
2. you like to use cheem words that I don't understand

Now, that comes as a bit of a surprise to me, because my interpretation of arrogance is quite different. Having an answer doesn't make one arrogant, but mocking someone who doesn't have it does. As for my command of the language, there's not much I can do about that, is there? Replying all the time in Singlish doesn't make me more or less arrogant.

So, where does that leave us? Does it matter if someone thinks you're arrogant or not? If I'm replying with no ill will in my heart, should I even care that one person or a few people on a forum perceive me as being arrogant? Singapore is a small place, we all bump into each other on the course, in the shops, etc - we all have our own eyes and ears to decide for ourselves how a person really is. Some of the biggest a-holes I have met in online forums, turn out to be really nice guys with a great sense of humour and a genuine personality in real life, but they just 'sound' different online as they are not wholly familiar with forum etiquette and English is not their primary language. Not their fault, but people really are different in real life.

well said Kenneth!

I couldn't agree more