Lust, Love or Marriage?

For those of you who question whether you are in love, in lust, or really married, the following descriptions may help to clear things up.

Love - When intercourse is called - making love.
Lust - When intercourse is called - screwing.
Marriage - What's intercourse?

Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage - When you lose your child in a crowded room.

Love - When you share everything you own.
Lust - When you steal everything they own.
Marriage - When the bank owns everything.

Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't reach a climax.
Lust - When the relationship ends if you don't reach a climax.
Marriage - What's a climax?

Love - When you phone each other just to say Hi.
Lust - When you phone each other to choose a hotel room.
Marriage - When you phone each other to b****.

Love - When you write poems about your partner.
Lust - When all you write is your phone number.
Marriage - When all your write is cheques.

Love - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
Lust - When you couldn't give a *Ahem*.
Marriage - When your only concern is what's on TV.

Love - When your farewell is "I love you, darling ... "
Lust - When your farewell is "Same time next week?"
Marriage - When your farewell is a relief.

Love - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
Lust - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
Marriage - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

Love - When nobody else matters.
Lust - When nobody else knows.
Marriage - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

Love - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
Lust - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
Marriage - When you listen to talk radio.

Love - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
Lust - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
Marriage - When just getting through the day is your only thought.

Love - When you're only interested in doing things WITH your partner.
Lust - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
Marriage - When you're only interested in your golf score.