Redneck letter

Dear Son,

I’m writing this letter slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the Newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, So we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they Moved so that they would not have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I’m not sure It works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled the chain And haven’t seen them since.

The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time For three days and the second time for four days. About the coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it Would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut Them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried Because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven’t found out what it Is yet so I don’t know if you’re an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks Just like your brother….

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull Him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him Cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because They couldn’t get the tailgate down.

There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened

Love, Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but
The envelope was already sealed.

Haha!!

Hilarious... almost fell off my chair... haa haa

By the way, what's the definition of a redneck?

>> Redneck refers to a person who is stereotypically Caucasian (i.e. white) and is of lower socio-economic status in the United States and Canada...

But the jokes make it sound like they are dumbnecks...

That's funny, Puteh83.

If U want to read some inbreeding, hill-billy, white-trash, redneck jokes, just do an Internet search.

Search for those jokes that begin with "You are a redneck if...."

For example: You are a redneck if your family tree has no branches.

(Think about this. Even draw a diagram to elucidate the humour!)

CK

You are a redneck if....

you host 'Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?'

Dat's funny.

Here are a few more:


You are a redneck if you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

You think safe sex is a padded headboard.

Favourite redneck songs:

1. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

2. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

3. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.


These jokes I never would tell to others when I lived in Virginia, Florida or Texas.

I would have gotten lynched by the KKK! Okay. I might be guilty of song number 3.

CK