Freaking hilarious......Tiger Woods vs Stevie Wonder

Tiger Woods is attending a charity dinner and is seated next to Stevie Wonder. They get chatting and eventually the conversation turns to golf and Tiger recent perfomances.

After hearing some of Stevie's comments and advice Tiger pointedly asks "Oh, you play do you?" To which Stevie replies " Actually, I do",

"Oh", says Tiger amused, "How do you manage that?"

"Well", says Stevie, "My caddy just stands down the faiway in line with the flag and calls out 'This way sir', and I just hit the ball towards his voice"

"Wow", says Tiger, disbelieving, "So, how do you putt?"

"Same thing," says Stevie, "My caddy stands on the other side of the hole and calls out,'over here Stevie, 8 yards' and I just putt to his voice".

"Wow" says Tiger, getting interested, "So, whats your handicap? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh" says Stevie, "I play for scratch".

"Wow!" Says Tiger, stunned, "Fancy a game sometime this week? Say, $10,000 a hole?"

"Sure" says Stevie casually, "Sounds like fun!"

"Great!" says Tiger, "What time suits you?"

"Oh" replies Stevie deadpan, "Any night'll do!"

Non racist just for laugh!

  This just-married Chinese couple decides to make love
  on their wedding night in the hotel where they held
  their wedding.

  The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested
  the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby.
  When the husband went out,
  the wife waited anxiously in the room with all
  the lights switched off.
  While the husband was out, an Indian thief came into
  the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it
  was her husband.

  She grabbed the Indian man and happily screwed away.
  The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep
  immediately.

  In the mean time, the husband had a hard time looking
  for a shop that sell condoms and when he finally found
  one, he realised that he had only one 20 cent coin.
  He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of
  condom and the shop owner asked him which quality that
  he wanted. The white condom,lowest quality, is 15
  cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20
  cents each. And purple condom, the highest quality, is
  25 cents each.

  So, the husband chose the black condom as he had only
  20 cents with him.When he reached the hotel, he found
  his wife sleeping.

  Without a warning,he jumped onto his wife and started
  making love. The wife was surprised that her husband
  was still very energetic after the "first" session.
  10 months later, the wife gave birth to a "black" baby
  boy. When the baby grew
  up, he asked the father: "Pa, why am I black and you
  are white?"
 
  >The father replied, "You are damn lucky already, 5
  cents more and you are PURPLE in COLOUR now !!!!!!"

Never fails to brighten my day