Top Ten Signs You’re Golfing Too Much

When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter

The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.

You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.

You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.

You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.

You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?

Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.

You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife

You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.

Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.

11. Your wife gives you the headache excuse