Dairy of a man

Gotten this off my best friend, Rainne, a woman. Dunno to laugh or to shake head. An msn emoticon best suits this post, *palmtoface*


dun read on if you're offended by coarse language.
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1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory.
I'm unable to remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: It's nature's way of saying "no hard feelings".

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop"; unless they are used together.

6. Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity; it's a lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss; only down under.

14. A newly married couple was happy with the "whole thing". He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing!

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

17. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

18. Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus; it turns your 31/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

19. despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!!!

No 18... LOL.... I will never think of Hard Drive the same way again..

So much talent nowadays.......sigh think i can retire early......

Good Job bro puteh83 !!!!